Booty and the Beard http://bootyandthebeard.com Twenty-something not marrieds talk for a few hours into a microphone and make it available for the entire world. Mon, 06 Sep 2010 02:26:44 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Http://www.bootyandthebeard.com Ryan and Steffie discuss all sorts of randomness on a weekly basis. Nothing is off limits, sometimes stories don't get finished, and usually they completely forget what they are talking about or how they got onto a topic. Funny, strange, and completely ridiculous. Leave us a review if you dig the show! Booty and the Beard yes Booty and the Beard BootyandtheBeard@gmail.com BootyandtheBeard@gmail.com (Booty and the Beard) Copyright © Booty and the Beard 2010 The #1 stream of consciousness podcast. Comedy, Booty and the Beard, Funny, Humorous, Ryan, Steffie, Couple, Random, News, Smodcast, A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan, Foul Monkeys, Nerdist, Etchie and Broncho's Variety Extravaganza, Booty and the Beard http://www.bootyandthebeard.com/logo.jpg http://bootyandthebeard.com Epi 25: Help Me Rassad Rahim, You’re My Only Hope! http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=190 http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=190#comments Mon, 06 Sep 2010 02:26:44 +0000 BootyBeard http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=190 Ryan and Steffie begin the show by talking about their recent birthdays, vacations and about Ryan welcoming the show. They compare aging to leveling in a role-playing game. Ryan applied his extra stat points to his Wisdom characteristic.

Ryan uses his  new found wisdom to cook things on the grill and relives steak days in his past. Ryan explains that Steak Day was a weekly event that surprisingly featured lots of steaks and adult-themed content. He also explains his secret method for seasoning the meat. Steffie and Ryan got an exercise bike for their joint birthdays.

They discuss stretching, breathing and eating while exercising as well as the complicated world of the game, Four Square. We learn that Steffie was a competitive, tournament-level Four Square player. Ryan later learns that she is talking about the Four Square app for the iPhone and Steffie explains her plans to become the mayor of her trailer park community.

Ryan and Steffie discuss the intricacies of Robot Law. Steffie plans to establish the First Church of Robotology to make sure they stay on our side. Steffie wants to fund the church by selling HUDs and Steffie learns that a HUD is one of Ryan’s three wishes.

They then go on to discuss Genie Law as dictated by the Disney animated picture, Alladin. Steffie reads a fan email that contacted the show. The listener has a very interesting proposition despite his loose grip on the English language. His story is sad and his bank balance large. Steffie replies to the listener regarding the tradgic demise of his father and his potential plans for a new hotel. Also, George Clooney, the Emmy’s, internet urinals and so much more!

“I’ve lost a lot of respect for people who do pee-related feats.” -Steffie

“When he opens his chakras he can shoot lazer beams.”-Ryan

]]> http://bootyandthebeard.com/?feed=rss2&p=190 0 Alladin,birthdays,Dungeon's and Dragon's,Emmys,exercise bike,exercising,Four Square,Genie,genie law,genie wishes,George Clooney,HUDS Ryan and Steffie begin the show by talking about their recent birthdays, vacations and about Ryan welcoming the show. They compare aging to leveling in a role-playing game. Ryan applied his extra stat points to his Wisdom characteristic. Ryan and Steffie begin the show by talking about their recent birthdays, vacations and about Ryan welcoming the show. They compare aging to leveling in a role-playing game. Ryan applied his extra stat points to his Wisdom characteristic. Ryan uses his  new found wisdom to cook things on the grill and relives steak days in his past. Ryan explains that Steak Day was a weekly event that surprisingly featured lots of steaks and adult-themed content. He also explains his secret method for seasoning the meat. Steffie and Ryan got an exercise bike for their joint birthdays. They discuss stretching, breathing and eating while exercising as well as the complicated world of the game, Four Square. We learn that Steffie was a competitive, tournament-level Four Square player. Ryan later learns that she is talking about the Four Square app for the iPhone and Steffie explains her plans to become the mayor of her trailer park community. Ryan and Steffie discuss the intricacies of Robot Law. Steffie plans to establish the First Church of Robotology to make sure they stay on our side. Steffie wants to fund the church by selling HUDs and Steffie learns that a HUD is one of Ryan's three wishes. They then go on to discuss Genie Law as dictated by the Disney animated picture, Alladin. Steffie reads a fan email that contacted the show. The listener has a very interesting proposition despite his loose grip on the English language. His story is sad and his bank balance large. Steffie replies to the listener regarding the tradgic demise of his father and his potential plans for a new hotel. Also, George Clooney, the Emmy's, internet urinals and so much more! "I've lost a lot of respect for people who do pee-related feats." -Steffie "When he opens his chakras he can shoot lazer beams."-Ryan Booty and the Beard yes 1:10:11 Epi 24: Jury Doodie http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=160 http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=160#comments Fri, 27 Aug 2010 03:00:09 +0000 BootyBeard http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=160 Ryan annoys us for a little bit with the 24 noise in effort to commemorate the 24th episode.

Ryan is under the misconception that dogs come in crates.

Steffie poses another challenge for the internet to find an item, despite their failure to find the previous requests. She never actually explains what the challenge is, because as per usual they get distracted by other crap.

A discussion of old school internet and Steffie’s extreme nerdism as a pre-teen with her Chat RPG Black Bayou and her first online boyfriend.

Ryan discusses an altercation with an Uggo involving a checkout line. Steffie is confused at first about if this happened to him and immediately starts making fun of how Ryan handles conflict.

Ryan wants to bond with Steffie’s dad by capitalizing on her gullibility.

There is some confusing about Roll For Initiative, Steffie thinks its a name.

Steffie’s attraction for Ryan wains when she realizes how many level 80 characters he has on World of Warcraft.

Ryan tells a story about how 97 Country is also the law. He wants to live in a world where radio DJs are the new law men, complete with Booty Slamming. Steffie doesn’t know what that is. It is never explained.

Steffie reveals how little they know about audio, and explains the Ladybug phone.

Steffie manages to prevent herself from googling, and attempts to explore other ways to do it without her hands.

Ryan and Steffie discuss masturbating on planes. Steffie gets distracted by the vision of a black man sticking his finger up Ryan’s butt.

They discuss what would happen if they were clones.

Steffie had an evil cat that would poop on her counter. Ryan is convinced the cat hated her. He then makes a dumb joke. Steffie schools him on how to use “AyyyOoooh”

Stephanie educates the listeners on the dangers of blowing into a girl’s vagina. She also decides she’d rather die by blow fish attack.

Ryan was selected for jury duty. He is extremely excited about this and is taking it super seriously.

Ryan is trying to convince Stephanie and the world that blow jobs are part of people’s civic duties.

They want to build a fort out of all their computers.

Ryan has wanted to be a juror since he was a small child. Stephanie thinks he’s retarded.

Ryan had no idea what Jesus Juice was, but he quickly changes his mind about Michael Jackson’s guilt.

Ryan doesn’t understand about how over the air TV worked. Steffie promptly teases him about it.

Steffie feels like all children should have princess or super hero bedding.

Ryan compares her to Linus which leads to discussion of the Charlie Brown leukemia episode. Steffie thinks the girl dies but she then finds out she made that shit up.

Steffie hatches a plan to find the location of the jury duty letter so she can annoy Ryan by testing him about revealing details of the case.

Steffie has a very specific idea of what Mother’s should do. They discuss childrens programming and how they are activating sleeper cell children.

They discuss how their child is a sexual harrasser. They want to teach him to call women Broads.

They close the show by thanking the people who have left them Itunes reviews or communicated with them in some way. Please leave a review for the show, it really helps us out and we love to hear from you!

“I told you you’re not going to get it up.”-Steffie

“What the fuck is up with this shit Charlie Brown?”-Ryan

Djev ASnew-Classic Swing2

]]> http://bootyandthebeard.com/?feed=rss2&p=160 0 4,97 Country,Airport Security,anntena,AOL,Black Bayou RPG,Booty Slamming,cable,Charlie Brown,checkout lines,civic duty,clones Ryan annoys us for a little bit with the 24 noise in effort to commemorate the 24th episode. - Ryan is under the misconception that dogs come in crates. - Steffie poses another challenge for the internet to find an item, Ryan annoys us for a little bit with the 24 noise in effort to commemorate the 24th episode. Ryan is under the misconception that dogs come in crates. Steffie poses another challenge for the internet to find an item, despite their failure to find the previous requests. She never actually explains what the challenge is, because as per usual they get distracted by other crap. A discussion of old school internet and Steffie's extreme nerdism as a pre-teen with her Chat RPG Black Bayou and her first online boyfriend. Ryan discusses an altercation with an Uggo involving a checkout line. Steffie is confused at first about if this happened to him and immediately starts making fun of how Ryan handles conflict. Ryan wants to bond with Steffie's dad by capitalizing on her gullibility. There is some confusing about Roll For Initiative, Steffie thinks its a name. Steffie's attraction for Ryan wains when she realizes how many level 80 characters he has on World of Warcraft. Ryan tells a story about how 97 Country is also the law. He wants to live in a world where radio DJs are the new law men, complete with Booty Slamming. Steffie doesn't know what that is. It is never explained. Steffie reveals how little they know about audio, and explains the Ladybug phone. Steffie manages to prevent herself from googling, and attempts to explore other ways to do it without her hands. Ryan and Steffie discuss masturbating on planes. Steffie gets distracted by the vision of a black man sticking his finger up Ryan's butt. They discuss what would happen if they were clones. Steffie had an evil cat that would poop on her counter. Ryan is convinced the cat hated her. He then makes a dumb joke. Steffie schools him on how to use "AyyyOoooh" Stephanie educates the listeners on the dangers of blowing into a girl's vagina. She also decides she'd rather die by blow fish attack. Ryan was selected for jury duty. He is extremely excited about this and is taking it super seriously. Ryan is trying to convince Stephanie and the world that blow jobs are part of people's civic duties. They want to build a fort out of all their computers. Ryan has wanted to be a juror since he was a small child. Stephanie thinks he's retarded. Ryan had no idea what Jesus Juice was, but he quickly changes his mind about Michael Jackson's guilt. Ryan doesn't understand about how over the air TV worked. Steffie promptly teases him about it. Steffie feels like all children should have princess or super hero bedding. Ryan compares her to Linus which leads to discussion of the Charlie Brown leukemia episode. Steffie thinks the girl dies but she then finds out she made that shit up. Steffie hatches a plan to find the location of the jury duty letter so she can annoy Ryan by testing him about revealing details of the case. Steffie has a very specific idea of what Mother's should do. They discuss childrens programming and how they are activating sleeper cell children. They discuss how their child is a sexual harrasser. They want to teach him to call women Broads. They close the show by thanking the people who have left them Itunes reviews or communicated with them in some way. Please leave a review for the show, it really helps us out and we love to hear from you! "I told you you're not going to get it up."-Steffie "What the fuck is up with this shit Charlie Brown?"-Ryan Djev ASnew-Classic Swing2 // Booty and the Beard yes 1:05:33 Episode 23: Googling with Steffie http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=150 http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=150#comments Tue, 17 Aug 2010 23:51:10 +0000 Ryan http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=150 Things start of sexy with a smooth saxophone in the intro music. Ryan reveals that he’s hidden a chip in Steffie’s butt, merely for tracking purposes.

Steffie and Ryan recently watched Clash of the Titans and we learn that Steffie’s grandma has a super-sweet TV. Meanwhile, Ryan can’t keep his hands off the microphone.

Ryan and Steffie talk about ancient forms of currency. They also talk about their current monetary currency and ridiculous forms of money used by ancient peoples. This leads to Ryan and Steffie discussing their religious beliefs of polytheism. Steffie confuses the gods with saints.

We learn that Steffie has recently purchased and begun using the e-cigarette. Ryan thinks you should be able to smoke it in the workplace but Steffie’s company disagrees, despite the e-cigarette producing no smoke whatsoever. Ryan and Steffie talk about their experiences with a person they used to work with that dipped and how disgusting it can be. Spoiler alert: Steffie vomits.

Ryan reveals that they will be getting a dog soon and will possibly name it “The Kraken” after the movie Clash of the Titans. This leads to conversations about large Hollywood penises (or penii?). Definitely one of their odder transitions.

Steffie and Ryan revisit the topic of Hitler and learn more about his meth addiction. Apparently the source was Hitler’s friend Ronnie, per Ryan. We also learn that Ryan and Steffie still haven’t developed a German accent.

Ryan reveals that his DNA was crossed with a shark’s DNA. Steffie reveals that she’s taught their child that people are kinda like sharks.

Steffie and Ryan talk at length about the beeper and their history. Ryan believes that a group of prostitutes, drug-dealers and potential organ recipients. Ryan reveals that his mother’s boyfriend of the past had multiple beepers and cell phones. Steffie believes he’s in the mafia but Ryan disagrees.

Ryan and Steffie talk about Shark Week and the Mythbusters and the myth about punching sharks in the nose. Ryan also talks about painting their child to look like the Last Airbender but was using the wrong kind of paint and almost stained his head, halting his career in the lucrative world of face-painting.

They talk about Basil Marceaux.com and Tennessee’s other ridiculous candidates for governor. We learn Ryan doesn’t know the proper name for a Scottish Terrier and how they are not goats.

Urban cow pastures, how NOT to use Facebook, and much, much more!

“People would totally let people be in the mob!” -Steffie

“Don’t give em our twat number!” -Ryan

Intro Music:
Sexed Up! (Album Version) by Fhernando

]]> http://bootyandthebeard.com/?feed=rss2&p=150 0 accent,addiction,ancient,ancient peoples,awesome,Basil Marceaux,Basil Marceaux.com,beeper,beepers,butt,chip,Clash of the Titans Things start of sexy with a smooth saxophone in the intro music. Ryan reveals that he's hidden a chip in Steffie's butt, merely for tracking purposes. - Steffie and Ryan recently watched Clash of the Titans and we learn that Steffie's grandma has a sup... Things start of sexy with a smooth saxophone in the intro music. Ryan reveals that he's hidden a chip in Steffie's butt, merely for tracking purposes. Steffie and Ryan recently watched Clash of the Titans and we learn that Steffie's grandma has a super-sweet TV. Meanwhile, Ryan can't keep his hands off the microphone. Ryan and Steffie talk about ancient forms of currency. They also talk about their current monetary currency and ridiculous forms of money used by ancient peoples. This leads to Ryan and Steffie discussing their religious beliefs of polytheism. Steffie confuses the gods with saints. We learn that Steffie has recently purchased and begun using the e-cigarette. Ryan thinks you should be able to smoke it in the workplace but Steffie's company disagrees, despite the e-cigarette producing no smoke whatsoever. Ryan and Steffie talk about their experiences with a person they used to work with that dipped and how disgusting it can be. Spoiler alert: Steffie vomits. Ryan reveals that they will be getting a dog soon and will possibly name it "The Kraken" after the movie Clash of the Titans. This leads to conversations about large Hollywood penises (or penii?). Definitely one of their odder transitions. Steffie and Ryan revisit the topic of Hitler and learn more about his meth addiction. Apparently the source was Hitler's friend Ronnie, per Ryan. We also learn that Ryan and Steffie still haven't developed a German accent. Ryan reveals that his DNA was crossed with a shark's DNA. Steffie reveals that she's taught their child that people are kinda like sharks. Steffie and Ryan talk at length about the beeper and their history. Ryan believes that a group of prostitutes, drug-dealers and potential organ recipients. Ryan reveals that his mother's boyfriend of the past had multiple beepers and cell phones. Steffie believes he's in the mafia but Ryan disagrees. Ryan and Steffie talk about Shark Week and the Mythbusters and the myth about punching sharks in the nose. Ryan also talks about painting their child to look like the Last Airbender but was using the wrong kind of paint and almost stained his head, halting his career in the lucrative world of face-painting. They talk about Basil Marceaux.com and Tennessee's other ridiculous candidates for governor. We learn Ryan doesn't know the proper name for a Scottish Terrier and how they are not goats. Urban cow pastures, how NOT to use Facebook, and much, much more! "People would totally let people be in the mob!" -Steffie "Don't give em our twat number!" -Ryan Intro Music: Sexed Up! (Album Version) by Fhernando (http://www.jamendo.com/en/track/288505) // (http://www.mevio.com/) // // Booty and the Beard yes 1:08:45 Episode 22: Butt Stuff http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=144 http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=144#comments Wed, 11 Aug 2010 03:28:20 +0000 BootyBeard http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=144 Steffie asks Ryan not to say anything about the episode # anymore.

Steffie decided to watch sad You Tube videos before the show to get her into the mood. It was about a torso and a head who was inspirational.

Steffie quits the show 2 minutes in. Ryan tries to keep everything together.

Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin come up again. Steffie thinks she is an excellent endorsement for getting pregnant as a teen.

Ryan wishes he had dropped out of highschool in his first year.

Ryan apparently hasn’t heard a word about Prop 8 nearly two weeks later. Steffie is outraged.

She makes up a nursery rhyme about Judge Vaughn Walker, or whatever his name is.

Ryan makes his dumb joke about the Supreme Court. Steffie forces him to say Nacho Cheesier against his will.

Steffie wants to become a “female Morman”, cause ya know, they don’t exist.

The Jungle Book was fuuucked up.

Steffie rewrites the endings to fables that are too sad.

It’s important to believe in the power of HIM, not God, the band.

Steffie’s sister is her polar opposite.

Steffie works for an encyclopedia company. Not really.

Talk quickly turns to women’s restrooms and how nasty they are.

Steffie feels like Ryan dressed up like a lady to sneak into the women’s restroom to find out the state of them.

Ryan goes to the bathroom a ridiculous amount.

Ryan has said shit and period blood for two seperate episodes, for two seperate stories.

We somehow go from shit and period blood to the special announcement on Etchie and Broncho’s Variety Extravaganza.

Prostrate exams come up. Steffie had a doctor stick a finger up her butt. It was horrifying.

Ryan has a tape of Steffie’s boobs somewhere in the house.

Steffie is going to punch Ryan in the dick. They argue about a liquor cabinet.

Ryan thinks A&E is just AE. He comes up with a better season for Intervention.

There are some strippers protesting at a church.

Steffie has 100′s of websites out in the world.

Brasfordogs.com is the newest business venture of Booty and the Beard.

Ryan makes fun of Steffie’s tendency to seriously explain things.

Ryan and Steffie attempt to whistle with their teeth into the microphone for awhile.

Ryan then makes fun of how Steffie deals with people.

There is a picture that Ryan and Steffie react too:

The Skype number expired, but magically auto-renewed, so you can still call 305-424-TWAT (8928).

There is a lot of inner office romance on Booty and the Beard. Except in the Entertainment department.

Steffie wants to edit their love out of the show.

This episode brought to you by FutureWorkAtHomeMom.com

“We just don’t go sticking qtips in people’s dickholes all the time!”-Ryan

“Here’s my butt stuff, for your baby,”-Steffie

Intro Music:

Music: Danger TV-”Friends”

]]> http://bootyandthebeard.com/?feed=rss2&p=144 0 A&E,Aesop's Fables,bigamy,bras for dogs,Bristol Palin,dexter,dicks,Encyclopedia Brittanica,Etchie and Broncho's Variety Extravaganza,future work at home mom,GED,HIM Steffie asks Ryan not to say anything about the episode # anymore. - Steffie decided to watch sad You Tube videos before the show to get her into the mood. It was about a torso and a head who was inspirational. - Steffie quits the show 2 minutes in. Steffie asks Ryan not to say anything about the episode # anymore. Steffie decided to watch sad You Tube videos before the show to get her into the mood. It was about a torso and a head who was inspirational. Steffie quits the show 2 minutes in. Ryan tries to keep everything together. Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin come up again. Steffie thinks she is an excellent endorsement for getting pregnant as a teen. Ryan wishes he had dropped out of highschool in his first year. Ryan apparently hasn't heard a word about Prop 8 nearly two weeks later. Steffie is outraged. She makes up a nursery rhyme about Judge Vaughn Walker, or whatever his name is. Ryan makes his dumb joke about the Supreme Court. Steffie forces him to say Nacho Cheesier against his will. Steffie wants to become a "female Morman", cause ya know, they don't exist. The Jungle Book was fuuucked up. Steffie rewrites the endings to fables that are too sad. It's important to believe in the power of HIM, not God, the band. Steffie's sister is her polar opposite. Steffie works for an encyclopedia company. Not really. Talk quickly turns to women's restrooms and how nasty they are. Steffie feels like Ryan dressed up like a lady to sneak into the women's restroom to find out the state of them. Ryan goes to the bathroom a ridiculous amount. Ryan has said shit and period blood for two seperate episodes, for two seperate stories. We somehow go from shit and period blood to the special announcement on Etchie and Broncho's Variety Extravaganza. (http://www.etchieandbroncho.com) Prostrate exams come up. Steffie had a doctor stick a finger up her butt. It was horrifying. Ryan has a tape of Steffie's boobs somewhere in the house. Steffie is going to punch Ryan in the dick. They argue about a liquor cabinet. Ryan thinks A&E is just AE. He comes up with a better season for Intervention. There are some strippers protesting at a church. Steffie has 100's of websites out in the world. Brasfordogs.com (http://www.brasfordogs.com) is the newest business venture of Booty and the Beard. Ryan makes fun of Steffie's tendency to seriously explain things. Ryan and Steffie attempt to whistle with their teeth into the microphone for awhile. Ryan then makes fun of how Steffie deals with people. There is a picture that Ryan and Steffie react too: (http://i.imgur.com/VOW6l.png) The Skype number expired, but magically auto-renewed, so you can still call 305-424-TWAT (8928). There is a lot of inner office romance on Booty and the Beard. Except in the Entertainment department. Steffie wants to edit their love out of the show. This episode brought to you by FutureWorkAtHomeMom.com (http://www.futureworkathomemom.com) "We just don't go sticking qtips in people's dickholes all the time!"-Ryan "Here's my butt stuff, for your baby,"-Steffie Intro Music: Music: Danger TV-"Friends" // Booty and the Beard yes 26:13 Episode 21: Vagina Smugglers http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=137 http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=137#comments Tue, 03 Aug 2010 00:29:55 +0000 Ryan http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=137 Ryan and Steffie start off the show with talk of lesbians, porn, self-reflection, and German scat porn. Ryan brings up the act of “wind milling” a lady and Steffie learns about “spinners.”

They also talk about the Dyson guy, his obsession with vacuums, and his venture into the fan market. Steffie wonders about using a vibrator to lull herself to sleep and wants to make a CD of vibrator white noise.

Steffie gets nerdy with talk of Sailor Moon, Garfield and Friends and Foghorn Leghorn. Ryan is not happy about none of the women of Sailor Moon piloting boats and concludes that the Japanese don’t understand our Solar system.

Steffie wants a Russian mail-order bride. Ryan does his best to do an impression of a delicate Russian woman. They learn about INS and proper pronunciation. Steffie discusses her parents’ weird music and movie viewing habits. She also talks about fanfic and shows where fanfic is extremely common like Smallville and Roswell.

Steffie talks about the boys she likes and Ryan believes she is creepy perv. Steffie is attracted to a number of males born in the year 1987. Ryan talks about getting raped repeatedly by a hipster rapist. He claims to not be a hipster but Steffie disagrees.

They talk about muffin tops, locusts, and Smirnoff Blueberry Lemonade and much, much more!

“I could totally eat a person.”-Ryan

“I wanna see your muffin-top so bad.”-Steffie

Intro Music: Convergence – Fortadelis

Leave us a comment or Email Us and let us know what you think!

Subscribe and leave a review in Itunes!

]]> http://bootyandthebeard.com/?feed=rss2&p=137 0 1987,basket,Blueberry Lemonade,boats,boys,cannibalism,china,Dyson,fan,fanfic,Foghorn Leghorn,Garfield and Friend Ryan and Steffie start off the show with talk of lesbians, porn, self-reflection, and German scat porn. Ryan brings up the act of "wind milling" a lady and Steffie learns about "spinners." - They also talk about the Dyson guy, his obsession with vacuums, Ryan and Steffie start off the show with talk of lesbians, porn, self-reflection, and German scat porn. Ryan brings up the act of "wind milling" a lady and Steffie learns about "spinners." They also talk about the Dyson guy, his obsession with vacuums, and his venture into the fan market. Steffie wonders about using a vibrator to lull herself to sleep and wants to make a CD of vibrator white noise. Steffie gets nerdy with talk of Sailor Moon, Garfield and Friends and Foghorn Leghorn. Ryan is not happy about none of the women of Sailor Moon piloting boats and concludes that the Japanese don't understand our Solar system. Steffie wants a Russian mail-order bride. Ryan does his best to do an impression of a delicate Russian woman. They learn about INS and proper pronunciation. Steffie discusses her parents' weird music and movie viewing habits. She also talks about fanfic and shows where fanfic is extremely common like Smallville and Roswell. Steffie talks about the boys she likes and Ryan believes she is creepy perv. Steffie is attracted to a number of males born in the year 1987. Ryan talks about getting raped repeatedly by a hipster rapist. He claims to not be a hipster but Steffie disagrees. They talk about muffin tops, locusts, and Smirnoff Blueberry Lemonade and much, much more! "I could totally eat a person."-Ryan "I wanna see your muffin-top so bad."-Steffie Intro Music: Convergence - Fortadelis (http://www.jamendo.com/en/track/166334) Leave us a comment or Email Us (BootyandtheBeard@gmail.com) and let us know what you think! Subscribe and leave a review in Itunes! (http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=358930600) Booty and the Beard yes 1:09:09 Epi 20: Podcast Time Machine http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=134 http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=134#comments Thu, 22 Jul 2010 00:19:25 +0000 Steffie http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=134 Talks of French Lil’ Jon and whether he looks like John Heder. Ryan
desperately wants to meet French gangstas.
Ryan mistakes an old UFO sighting for a current event, a series of
non-sensical topics unrelated to that comes up.
Ryan considers his days at work as “episodes”.
Ants one day attacked the Hess station where Ryan used to work.
Honey I Shrunk the Kids had the best No Smoking PSA ever.
The coach from Major League died and Stephanie reveals she knows way
to much about Major League. Ryan has never seen Major League and Steffie
is outraged. Steffie has never seen Policy Academy. They are even.
Ryan reveals his knowledge of what the G-Spot was named after.
Ryan has failed in his duty to update the Booty and the Beard
Wikipedia page.
The Boo has a daycare soap opera going on.
Discussion turns towards ninja’s, ghosts and Beetlejuice.
Apparently in the world there exists Beetlejuice fanfiction.
Somehow they get back to the China UFO.
There is apparently an old 80′s cartoon called “The Biskitts”.
It would be really frightening if bears could actually bounce around
like gummies.
Ryan has told Steffie she can have a dog. This quickly escalates to
an argument about how Ryan is not really allergic to dogs.
Steffie brings this up so they can record the terms of having said
dog.
Suspicions are raised about Ryan’s after work activities.
Steffie wants to create a nest for any future children they have.

Steffie reveals her horse fear in more detail.
Steffie has news stories related to body parts.
Paul the Octopus has been retired but had a perfect record. We’ll
miss you Paul the Octopus.
Steffie will be using her hips as an excuse for her absentmindedness.
Briefly a news story about a love puppet is mentioned, but no
information is given to explain.

Pregnancy tests and rabbits are discussed.

A new sex-based enviromentally sustainable energy source is created.
Steffie is briefly distracted by some douchebag recommending the Dane
Cook fanpage to her.
Steffie needs to watch Jersey Shore when it returns. Neither Ryan or
Steffie are sure who Snookie is.
Steffie decides that when she’s pregnant she’ll tell Ryan in code.
Ryan wants codes for all sorts of things.

Ryan has no idea about the Facebook poking feature.
Steffie fucks up hardcore at the end of the show and gives Ad time to
companies that didn’t pay Booty and the Beard.

“Our house is going to be covered in period blood and smegma, its
gonna be awesome.”-Ryan

“Can’t even look at titties without there being horses on them.”
-Steffie

Intro Music: Eclectek-L’Huere Des Mamans Feat David TMX
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]]> http://bootyandthebeard.com/?feed=rss2&p=134 0 allergies,ants,beetleguese,beetlejuice,big head,big hips,china,Chuck Norris,daycare,dogs,episodes,equinephobia Talks of French Lil' Jon and whether he looks like John Heder. Ryan desperately wants to meet French gangstas. Ryan mistakes an old UFO sighting for a current event, a series of non-sensical topics unrelated to that comes up. Talks of French Lil' Jon and whether he looks like John Heder. Ryan desperately wants to meet French gangstas. Ryan mistakes an old UFO sighting for a current event, a series of non-sensical topics unrelated to that comes up. Ryan considers his days at work as "episodes". Ants one day attacked the Hess station where Ryan used to work. Honey I Shrunk the Kids had the best No Smoking PSA ever. The coach from Major League died and Stephanie reveals she knows way to much about Major League. Ryan has never seen Major League and Steffie is outraged. Steffie has never seen Policy Academy. They are even. Ryan reveals his knowledge of what the G-Spot was named after. Ryan has failed in his duty to update the Booty and the Beard Wikipedia page. The Boo has a daycare soap opera going on. Discussion turns towards ninja's, ghosts and Beetlejuice. Apparently in the world there exists Beetlejuice fanfiction. Somehow they get back to the China UFO. There is apparently an old 80's cartoon called "The Biskitts". It would be really frightening if bears could actually bounce around like gummies. Ryan has told Steffie she can have a dog. This quickly escalates to an argument about how Ryan is not really allergic to dogs. Steffie brings this up so they can record the terms of having said dog. Suspicions are raised about Ryan's after work activities. Steffie wants to create a nest for any future children they have. Steffie reveals her horse fear in more detail. Steffie has news stories related to body parts. Paul the Octopus has been retired but had a perfect record. We'll miss you Paul the Octopus. Steffie will be using her hips as an excuse for her absentmindedness. Briefly a news story about a love puppet is mentioned, but no information is given to explain. Pregnancy tests and rabbits are discussed. A new sex-based enviromentally sustainable energy source is created. Steffie is briefly distracted by some douchebag recommending the Dane Cook fanpage to her. Steffie needs to watch Jersey Shore when it returns. Neither Ryan or Steffie are sure who Snookie is. Steffie decides that when she's pregnant she'll tell Ryan in code. Ryan wants codes for all sorts of things. Ryan has no idea about the Facebook poking feature. Steffie fucks up hardcore at the end of the show and gives Ad time to companies that didn't pay Booty and the Beard. "Our house is going to be covered in period blood and smegma, its gonna be awesome."-Ryan "Can't even look at titties without there being horses on them." -Steffie Intro Music: Eclectek-L'Huere Des Mamans Feat David TMX (http://www.jamendo.com/en/album/51015) Leave us a comment or Email Us (BootyandtheBeard@gmail.com) and let us know what you think! Subscribe and leave a review in Itunes! (http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=358930600) // Booty and the Beard yes 1:06:41 Episode 19: The Internet is ‘Over’ http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=129 http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=129#comments Fri, 09 Jul 2010 16:44:46 +0000 Ryan http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=129 Ryan and Steffie are full of energy today due to watching the coke-addled Mark Summers. Steffie heard he was real OCD, which doesn’t really fit with drug abuse.

Of course, this translates to Ryan and Steffie’s earthquake preparedness. Ryan believes he can actually pull the walls apart. Steffie is pissed.

Ryan has just come to the conclusion that Apple is doing well. Only based on the amount of news stories that are related to Apple in the Science/Technology sector of the news. Ryan and Steffie discuss other new technological advances, most of which Steffie doesn’t approve.

Steffie and Ryan talk about the Twilight series and how they cannot begin to fathom the appeal of the series. Ryan thinks the Burger King toys are hilarious but is disappointed that hologram technology hasn’t been improved upon in 20 years for children’s toys.

Ryan believes that Harry Potter is stereotyping British people in that all their British characters have ridiculously silly names.

Ryan thinks that companies need to start putting product placements on the green-screen during weather broadcasts. Also, more storm systems should feature candy to tell the level of severity.

Ryan and Steffie talk about Prince, Dave Chappelle’s lock-picking skills, Lindsey Lohan, and much more!

“I feel like there’s going to be a lot of dildos flying around.”-Ryan

“I’m glad that you feel comfortable shitting in front of me in a major emergency.”-Steffie

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]]> http://bootyandthebeard.com/?feed=rss2&p=129 0 Apple,Back to the Future,British,Burger King,candy,Cedric Diggery,Dave Chappelle,defecation,dildos,Doritos,earthquakes,Food Network Ryan and Steffie are full of energy today due to watching the coke-addled Mark Summers. Steffie heard he was real OCD, which doesn't really fit with drug abuse. - Of course, this translates to Ryan and Steffie's earthquake preparedness. Ryan and Steffie are full of energy today due to watching the coke-addled Mark Summers. Steffie heard he was real OCD, which doesn't really fit with drug abuse. Of course, this translates to Ryan and Steffie's earthquake preparedness. Ryan believes he can actually pull the walls apart. Steffie is pissed. Ryan has just come to the conclusion that Apple is doing well. Only based on the amount of news stories that are related to Apple in the Science/Technology sector of the news. Ryan and Steffie discuss other new technological advances, most of which Steffie doesn't approve. Steffie and Ryan talk about the Twilight series and how they cannot begin to fathom the appeal of the series. Ryan thinks the Burger King toys are hilarious but is disappointed that hologram technology hasn't been improved upon in 20 years for children's toys. Ryan believes that Harry Potter is stereotyping British people in that all their British characters have ridiculously silly names. Ryan thinks that companies need to start putting product placements on the green-screen during weather broadcasts. Also, more storm systems should feature candy to tell the level of severity. Ryan and Steffie talk about Prince, Dave Chappelle's lock-picking skills, Lindsey Lohan, and much more! "I feel like there's going to be a lot of dildos flying around."-Ryan "I'm glad that you feel comfortable shitting in front of me in a major emergency."-Steffie Leave us a comment or Email Us (BootyandtheBeard@gmail.com) and let us know what you think! Subscribe and leave a review in Itunes! (http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=358930600) // Booty and the Beard yes 1:07:24 Episode 18: Live On Pride48.com! http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=127 http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=127#comments Wed, 30 Jun 2010 00:05:22 +0000 Ryan http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=127 Ryan and Steffie are live from the Pride48 48 hour event. Someone is going to win a $25.00 gift card to a place of their choosing. To commemorate the event, Ryan and Steffie seal the deal before the show.

Ryan starts off the show by giving Steffie a random headline. Steffie takes her usual logical approach to the situation but supplies a random headline of her own. Hers is far better and related to the current World Cup.

We talk about World Cup and also go on to explain ourselves to the new listeners that are tuning in for Pride48′s podcast-a-thon. We talk about past times with Ricky of Foul Monkeys and how he may have recorded us having sex in his parking lot.

Ryan and Steffie talk about celebrity heartthrobs; Ryan doens’t understand the appeal of John Cussack but Steffie approves. And we learn about Steffie’s secret childhood crush on Gina Davis.

Congratulations to GNF_Christina who won the giftcard giveaway! Be aware that during the episode, we are occasionally talking to people in the chatroom, not that we’ve recently developed schizophrenia!

Thanks so much to Pride48.com for letting us pop our live show cherry. Check out all the amazing programming on the site and donate to help support! Go to Pride48.com and click Donate!

“No, it doesn’t sound like there’s bees in your vagina.”-Ryan

“I think we should make a dildo and call it a VuvuZilla.”-Steffie

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]]> http://bootyandthebeard.com/?feed=rss2&p=127 0 dildos,england,etsy.com,freakonomics,germany,giveaway,GLBT,GLBT-friendly,live show,pride48,pride48.com,psychic octopus Ryan and Steffie are live from the Pride48 48 hour event. Someone is going to win a $25.00 gift card to a place of their choosing. To commemorate the event, Ryan and Steffie seal the deal before the show. - Ryan starts off the show by giving Steffie a... Ryan and Steffie are live from the Pride48 48 hour event. Someone is going to win a $25.00 gift card to a place of their choosing. To commemorate the event, Ryan and Steffie seal the deal before the show. Ryan starts off the show by giving Steffie a random headline. Steffie takes her usual logical approach to the situation but supplies a random headline of her own. Hers is far better and related to the current World Cup. We talk about World Cup and also go on to explain ourselves to the new listeners that are tuning in for Pride48's (http://www.pride48.com) podcast-a-thon. We talk about past times with Ricky of Foul Monkeys (http://www.foulmonkeys.com) and how he may have recorded us having sex in his parking lot. Ryan and Steffie talk about celebrity heartthrobs; Ryan doens't understand the appeal of John Cussack but Steffie approves. And we learn about Steffie's secret childhood crush on Gina Davis. Congratulations to GNF_Christina who won the giftcard giveaway! Be aware that during the episode, we are occasionally talking to people in the chatroom, not that we've recently developed schizophrenia! Thanks so much to Pride48.com (http://www.pride48.com) for letting us pop our live show cherry. Check out all the amazing programming on the site and donate to help support! Go to Pride48.com (http://www.pride48.com) and click Donate! "No, it doesn't sound like there's bees in your vagina."-Ryan "I think we should make a dildo and call it a VuvuZilla."-Steffie Leave us a comment or Email Us (BootyandtheBeard@gmail.com) and let us know what you think! Subscribe and leave a review in Itunes! (http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=358930600) Booty and the Beard yes 1:00:02 Episode 17: Almost Legal http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=125 http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=125#comments Sat, 19 Jun 2010 13:33:47 +0000 Steffie http://bootyandthebeard.com/?p=125 Ryan intro’s episode 17 all sexy like.

The intro song makes Steffie and Ryan think of a sitcom montage. Ryan
immediately turns it into a porn.

Ryan and Steffie discuss some of their future marriage plans,
specifically the issue of what last name to use.

They talk about the symptoms of stroke and how it relates to the
Creole language. Steffie is fluent in Creole.

Steffie wants to name her Haiti baby “Remy”.

Ryan thinks Voldemort is some kind of Muggle Santa Clause.

Steffie names all the reasons the house has been super nerdy as of
late. She then talks about comic books for awhile.

They talk briefly about E3, and how the PS3 is not a system they will
probably ever own.

Ryan breaks the news about the coming hurricane “Blas” (WTF?).

Steffie calls Ryan out about being a pussy and then lists his
sensitive areas, which are most of his areas.

They then determine the source of Ryan’s power is in his toenails.

Ryan wants to become a wrestler and comes up with an appropriate
wrestling name. He then comes up with his own line of cereal.

Steffie doesn’t understand female viagra. Ryan drinks spanish fly at
work sometimes. Steffie has never wanted to masturbate at work.

Ryan has a theory for the reason the neighbor saws things at 10
o’clock at night.

Somewhere in Canada a tiger and 2 camels are getting into some shit.
Ryan thinks camels are stoic and animals of few words.

Steffie can’t wait until the Boo starts cursing at Ryan and acting
disrespectful. They sometimes force the Boo to do hilarious things.

Ryan and Steffie discuss happy slapping gangs and what that means. They decide they want to form their own.

German’s are fucking weird no matter what media outlet they are on.

Steffie is not down with wizards in the form of biker gangs or
as a genre genre of rock music.

Join us live June 26th from 11 p.m. to Midnight on Pride48.com for your chance to earn a $25 gift card of your choice! Come hang out with us for our first live show and check out all the other great shows at the event

“Check out my flagellas baby”-Ryan

“I love to slam down a nice frothy cock in the evening”-Steffie

Satellite-Major Major

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]]> http://bootyandthebeard.com/?feed=rss2&p=125 0 almost legal,Apple Dumpling Gang,Astronishing X-Men,biker gang,Buffy Season 8,Buffy the Vampire Slayer,bulldozer,camel,canada,cereal,comic books,Creole Ryan intro's episode 17 all sexy like. - The intro song makes Steffie and Ryan think of a sitcom montage. Ryan immediately turns it into a porn. - Ryan and Steffie discuss some of their future marriage plans, Ryan intro's episode 17 all sexy like. The intro song makes Steffie and Ryan think of a sitcom montage. Ryan immediately turns it into a porn. Ryan and Steffie discuss some of their future marriage plans, specifically the issue of what last name to use. They talk about the symptoms of stroke and how it relates to the Creole language. Steffie is fluent in Creole. Steffie wants to name her Haiti baby "Remy". Ryan thinks Voldemort is some kind of Muggle Santa Clause. Steffie names all the reasons the house has been super nerdy as of